As most people realize, religion is a large part of the South. Many
around my local area laughingly say, "We are in the buckle of the Bible
Belt." They are not far from the truth, and my own religious roots are
very deep. That said, I will warn you in advance that this post is religious in nature. I would love to share my views with you, but if you are going to be offended or feel it necessary to make derisive comments then you may wish to read another post instead. I like to keep this blog open but happy and drama-free.
It sometimes amazes me how we sometimes end up making random decisions here and there during a day, and by the days end we see how all these things were actually connected to help us move to a new point in our life. Some people refer to it as "serendipity" - finding happy discoveries along the way or making valuable discoveries by accident (essentially, a happy accident). I look at it as God's bigger picture and better plan. Let me explain what happened to me yesterday.
Recently, we have not been attending church regularly. We do have a nice church (for you locals, it is Crosspoint and we love it!) and our children enjoy going there. This past weekend, our youngest (the Chick) was quite excited to go. In fact, she jumped up early on Sunday morning and got completely dressed all by herself (she is 5). She ran around waking up everyone else, even though we weren't going to the early service - we had plans to meet friends at the 11:00AM service.
We finally got to church, and the sermon was entitled AWAKEN: The Lord Restores. It was based on Joel 2:18-27, which essentially about God speaking to His people about how he would restore them and they must have faith and follow His way. At the time, they were facing a vast, barren, dry desert and he told them how they would face enemies from the North (I snickered at that one thinking of the Civil War, but I digress). He told them he would remove the enemies and then He would restore his people. He promised them food, told them they would eat plenty. He promised them peace with Him in their midst. Our minister went on to apply this to our daily lives, and how God will use anything in our lives that has broken us in order to bring us closer to Him so that He may restore us. Our minister reminded us that when God makes a promise such as this, it is as good as done. In order to feel the healing and be restored, we must repent and put our total faith in God alone. He specifically pointed out issues with marriages in crises, work problems or other relationship issues.
As we left, I was thinking of something that had been heavy on my heart and soul recently: clutter. While in church, of course I prayed about our family, my own marriage (it could use improvements), and other unspoken needs - nothing about clutter. I never would dream of praying about something so materialistic. I mean, really. If I am going to go to God about my clutter, it would be better to just get rid of it, right? Why as Him to solve it? Or so I thought.
I was talking with my girls (my hubby stayed home) about cleaning up our house. We are very cluttered (think a few months away from a TLC reality show), and it alternates between not being able to stand it to not being able to part with some of the things. I have also been extremely depressed lately. Now, I subscribe to FlyLady (for more on her, just click her name). You would think I would be able to put all this together, but I just feel overwhelmed and having a pack rat DH (dear hubby) makes it a little worse. So, I sit on my Franny and get more depressed, which just adds more body clutter, which makes my marriage more difficult, and so the cycle continues. So, here I surrounded by prosperity and moping at my barren surroundings. (I think I just found a new definition of crazy - there's that serendipity thing again.)
They also want to make changes and have things look nicer, and I know how a fresh coat of paint will help liven things up. Anyone who knows FlyLady can already see where this is headed (and yes, I do keep a shiny sink, dressed to the shoes and bed made every single day). We choose to paint the kid's bathroom, because as all my visitors know it is a train wreck - typically a moldy one at that. They go to scrub it down, and I explain to my DH how we are going to clean up but also pain their bath. He is all on board with this, and approves my little adventure to Lowe's as long as I don't go crazy spending too much. I also had to run by Wal-Mart for a few essentials (a weekly run for milk and eggs).
A couple of hours and a hundred dollars later, I am home. In the meantime, he has had to discipline the kids who stayed home (a teenager and Chick). They had to clean up several large messes they had created, which made him rather ill (on top of a bad back he had strained earlier in the week). We also had a new desk to move into our bedroom replacing his computer hutch. The desk was sitting in the garage and difficult to walk around. For some reason, he flipped his lid with me. I stayed rather calm, he yelled a lot (including calling me names which will require much groveling to this Southern Lady in the weeks to come). He screamed about spending the money, painting a bath they will only mess up, too much clutter which became his mission of the day. In fact, he started pitching all sorts of things into his truck to haul off. He went a little far with that, and also yelled that I needed to get rid of all my books (I do need to thin them out).
After all was done, he did calm down and I think (or perhaps I hope) he realized he went too far with some of it. But I realized, all of it came from clutter. He and I both had recently visited the most beautiful, welcoming home that was free of clutter and tastefully decorated. It was easy to clean, obviously, because there was not much TO clean or clean around (mental note to self: ask if she knows FlyLady). I kept thinking about that home, and I think he did too. All of his frustration, all of my frustration, all of it came from clutter. I could never quite do the FlyLady questions of "does this make you happy" and so forth. When I reframed those questions, it became clear: "is this item worth more than your marriage? is this item worth yelling and screaming? is this item worth chaos for my precious girls?" I think most times the answer is no. If it is close to yes, then it won't cause those problems because it is truly special and worth keeping. A few of those things are fine.
I realized our family suffers from a terrible syndrome: toomuchness. Too much stuff = clutter. Too much time = laziness (we think we have time to do it so we procrastinate). I am not letting that happen any longer. Last night I cleaned out one whole corner of my bedroom, and I completed two tasks that I had been putting off for months. I am actively writing my blog again (something I haven't done since last year), and I am working on a book about my experiences as a stepmother in a high conflict custody dispute.
By the end of the day, I realized how God used something in my life (my marriage and family) to show me how barren and empty everything is (even though I am surrounded by more things I will ever use). When I submitted to him through prayer that morning, and when I chose to place total faith in Him (once again), He used my current state to open my eyes to the clutter and how to fix that problem. I had seen it. I had known it was an issue. I had the tools from FlyLady. I just chose to procrastinate and ignore it - to the detriment of my marriage. For some reason today I feel free to toss and give. I have already released almost thirty pounds of clutter. And I know once I release the house clutter, the body clutter will also start to disappear.
I also realized how much I have been praying about my life. I have been terrified of change, and last night I realized I am not as terrified. I stood up and demanded respect in a calm, assertive tone. I realize God is working in my life to make me stronger and wiser. As I have prayed, nothing has been happening but God has been listening. Perhaps He has even sent me signs I chose not to see. Yesterday morning, my youngest daughter ensured I did not miss church and I definitely heard a message meant for me to hear. I have prayed for restoration in all areas of my life. Later, I saw how that connected with other things weighing me down only to witness one of the things mentioned specifically in our sermon. I see hope and promise. This is what our pastor spoke about when he said to be glad of the trials for they will bring the restoration.
